


Pain

by LeftyVoyager



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:34:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4527606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftyVoyager/pseuds/LeftyVoyager
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Janeway takes a day to remember someone special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pain

She felt a familiar pain in her heart as she woke up.

Today is Justin's birthday. He would have been 45 this year. She could still hear his voice in her mind, though admittedly, she wasn't always sure she remembered exactly how it sounded. Every so often she would run a simulation in the holodeck to remind her.

She felt it as an almost physical pain, taking her breath away, but she didn't cry. Those tears had already been shed years ago.

She hadn't wanted to learn how to live without Justin and her father, but she did because she had no choice.

Her predicament on Voyager added Mark to the list of people she thought about on Justin's birthday. He was alive, but no longer hers.

She felt again the pain of losing him.

She felt the guilt of thinking about Mark and Daddy on Justin's birthday. Shouldn't the least she can do be to dedicate one day to think only of the first man she was to marry?

She was pleased that she had the presence of mind to schedule the day off. Last year was the first time she had talked to Chakotay about it. He had noticed her distraction on the bridge. Previous years, she had just spent extra time in her ready room, careful to hide her anguish from any of her crew.

It was selfish of her to show her pain, she reasoned. This date has significance only to her.

Chakotay disagreed, but respected her wish to grieve alone. However, he made sure she knew that he would be willing to talk to her at any time of day or night.

Today would be her time to reflect and remember. Tomorrow, she would move forward once again.

The end.


End file.
